My former boss and current coworker Lisa sent me an instant message directing me to a story that blew my mind and got me so excited I felt like I'd been given a B-12 shot.
I'll link the story at the end, but here's the gist of it:
Back in March, there was a terrible earthquake (and subsequent tsunami) that wreaked havoc along Japan's eastern coastline. The damage also caused a nuclear power plant to nearly go into meltdown. While the worst was averted and Japan is bouncing back the best they can from the disaster, tourism to the country has, to put it bluntly, gone down the crapper. So, it was announced yesterday that the Japan Tourism Agency is pushing for funding from the Japanese government to offer 10,000 free round-trip tickets to Japan starting next year. The only conditions you have to meet (other than having a passport and being able to pay for hotel and miscellaneous expenses if you get to go) are that you have to write in detail why you want to go and what you'd do if you had the chance to go, and if you're selected to go, you have to blog about your trip to a social media site of some sort.
Think of it: FREE AIRFARE TO AND FROM JAPAN!!! That's about 75% of the expense, fully covered! All Heather and I would have to pay for is the hotel and spending money for food and incidentals!
I have to go for now; more later.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Thursday, August 25, 2011
Misery with Company, Pt. 2
Well, since it's been almost a week since I went to the dreaded department outing at my manager's house, I figured I'd recap it.
It was highly tolerable.
I will say this: The food was EXCELLENT. Basic grill-out stuff, but it just seemed to hit the spot. Among my favorites was a sweet cornbread dish made by one of my coworker's girlfriends (more about her later). It was so good my wife and I had to get the recipe.
We also didn't have to sit outside if we didn't want to, which is a plus for me. I'm not an outdoors type by any means, ESPECIALLY when it comes to eating, because I swear all the bugs are more attracted to my food than anyone else's. Plus it was rather humid from a rainstorm earlier that day so being out of the sun was a welcome relief.
Other highlights:
1. One of my manager's daughters pointing to me and saying aloud at the table as we ate, "He has a big tummy, daddy". Ain't that PRECIOUS?!? (note the sarcasm there) I took it in stride as best I can and said, "Yes I do, so I can enjoy all of this wonderful food!" And that seemed to mollify her. Now, I get that little kids have no filtration system; they don't know that saying things like that is shamefully rude. But oh, how I wanted to say instead, "Yes I do...it's big because I eat little children that say mean things to adults!" Yeah...kids say the darndest things.
2. One of my coworkers' girlfriends (the one that brought the cornbread) looks EXACTLY like Selena Gomez. If you don't know who she is, Google her name and you'll find out. Anyway, the resemblance is stunning. Same facial structure, same hair, same body type, height, weight....you'd think she was a twin sister. Well, the daughter of one of my other coworkers went BERZERK over this. Turns out she's a major fan of Ms. Gomez and insisted she get a picture sitting on "Selena's" lap so she could show everyone in school. I found out from "Selena's" boyfriend the next workday that she gets that A LOT, and that he actually encourages it, which she dislikes, much to his amusement. She's actually had little girls following her when they go shopping. Funny stuff.
3. Some people are just naturals when it comes to getting along with children. One of my closer coworker/friends is probably one of the most friendly, outgoing, and lively people I've ever met. He's had such a colorful life, and it's fascinating to hear one of his stories. Anyway, the kids at the party flocked to him like he was a slab of metal and they were all rare-earth magnets. He was so good with them that they could barely stand to be away from him for more than a few minutes. I couldn't help but envy him, honestly. I'd love to be that comfortable and carefree around children, but it's just not part of my wiring.
So, yeah...I didn't have a BAD time. But, do I feel any closer to my coworkers or even my manager as a result? Do I feel like we have a better "team" dynamic now?
Nope. It was a lot of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
But, on the whole...there are worse way to spend a Saturday, I guess...like being on-call and taking customer calls on the work cell phone, like I'll be doing this Saturday.
Faaaaaaaaantastic.
It was highly tolerable.
I will say this: The food was EXCELLENT. Basic grill-out stuff, but it just seemed to hit the spot. Among my favorites was a sweet cornbread dish made by one of my coworker's girlfriends (more about her later). It was so good my wife and I had to get the recipe.
We also didn't have to sit outside if we didn't want to, which is a plus for me. I'm not an outdoors type by any means, ESPECIALLY when it comes to eating, because I swear all the bugs are more attracted to my food than anyone else's. Plus it was rather humid from a rainstorm earlier that day so being out of the sun was a welcome relief.
Other highlights:
1. One of my manager's daughters pointing to me and saying aloud at the table as we ate, "He has a big tummy, daddy". Ain't that PRECIOUS?!? (note the sarcasm there) I took it in stride as best I can and said, "Yes I do, so I can enjoy all of this wonderful food!" And that seemed to mollify her. Now, I get that little kids have no filtration system; they don't know that saying things like that is shamefully rude. But oh, how I wanted to say instead, "Yes I do...it's big because I eat little children that say mean things to adults!" Yeah...kids say the darndest things.
2. One of my coworkers' girlfriends (the one that brought the cornbread) looks EXACTLY like Selena Gomez. If you don't know who she is, Google her name and you'll find out. Anyway, the resemblance is stunning. Same facial structure, same hair, same body type, height, weight....you'd think she was a twin sister. Well, the daughter of one of my other coworkers went BERZERK over this. Turns out she's a major fan of Ms. Gomez and insisted she get a picture sitting on "Selena's" lap so she could show everyone in school. I found out from "Selena's" boyfriend the next workday that she gets that A LOT, and that he actually encourages it, which she dislikes, much to his amusement. She's actually had little girls following her when they go shopping. Funny stuff.
3. Some people are just naturals when it comes to getting along with children. One of my closer coworker/friends is probably one of the most friendly, outgoing, and lively people I've ever met. He's had such a colorful life, and it's fascinating to hear one of his stories. Anyway, the kids at the party flocked to him like he was a slab of metal and they were all rare-earth magnets. He was so good with them that they could barely stand to be away from him for more than a few minutes. I couldn't help but envy him, honestly. I'd love to be that comfortable and carefree around children, but it's just not part of my wiring.
So, yeah...I didn't have a BAD time. But, do I feel any closer to my coworkers or even my manager as a result? Do I feel like we have a better "team" dynamic now?
Nope. It was a lot of sound and fury, signifying nothing.
But, on the whole...there are worse way to spend a Saturday, I guess...like being on-call and taking customer calls on the work cell phone, like I'll be doing this Saturday.
Faaaaaaaaantastic.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Misery with Company, Pt. 1
I never like to say "I hate my job". I don't *hate* it. Knowing how many people are struggling right now to make ends meet and find a job so they can take care of themselves and their loved ones, saying that I hate my job when it's putting money in my wallet, food in my stomach, and keeping a roof over my head seems rather foolish. I'm more likely to say that I "don't like" my job, which to my way of thinking is not the same thing. Hate is a very strong, drastic state of mind, but dislike, while still not by any means positive, is much less extreme and allows much more room for positive change.
Honestly, the more accurate point of view on this is that I don't dislike the *job*. Rather, I dislike the company I work for.
I'm not going to go into specifics, for obvious reasons. It's not like I'd necessarily be safe from reprisal if someone at my office read this, but I just don't feel the need to name names or point fingers. But I will say in all honesty that my relationship with the department I work in has turned from one of joviality and cooperation to one of suspicion and resentment....mainly my suspicions and resentment toward them.
Sadly, my reasons for disliking the company I work for are plentiful, but for this entry, I'm going to focus on my coworkers.
I get along with the people I work with. That is to say, I have no open rivalries with anyone and they have none with me. We can have casual conversations, joke and laugh, etc. But with the exception of one or two people, we're not friends. We don't all hang out after hours, I don't meet up with any of them on the evenings or weekends for any reason, and I certainly don't let them in on my personal life beyond whatever is relevant to our workplace discussions.
One of my manager's goals is to make us more of a team, so once a month, she has us meet after hours to talk about things going on in our department and to help us get to know one another by way of group activities. It's total "how to improve departmental performance" textbook nonsense, but I have to admit, when I'm participating, it can be entertaining. However, I'm not a social butterfly by any means. It takes me a while to warm up to people and engage them without feeling uncomfortable. So when we participate in these activities, I feel very ill at ease. I would much rather be left alone to do what I was hired to do and benefit the team THAT way. After all, if I work hard and do my job well, doesn't that benefit the team as a whole? Why do we need this forced camaraderie?
Speaking more to that point, tomorrow my manager is having a cookout at her house and has invited all of us. It's a nice gesture, one that most managers would never consider because it involves opening up their personal space to their employees. But I couldn't be less enthusiastic or comfortable about the whole thing. First of all, there will be kids there; namely my manager's, and at least one other employee's. I don't hate children, but they make me very uncomfortable. They're noisy, rambunctious, unknowingly (most of the time) rude...they multiply my social awkwardness by a factor of 1000. Second of all, when I'm not at work, I do everything I can to block out my work mindset. I don't think about it if at all possible and I don't meet up with or talk to anyone from the office. I especially savor those times away when my job gets very stressful or when I'm on call during the week, which extends my work responsibilities after my in-office hours. So, to go to my manager's house and socialize with my coworkers couldn't possibly look or sound less appealing to me. It doesn't matter what we're all there together to do, it's still me hanging out with my coworkers when all I want to do is be away from them until the next time I have to be in the office.
My wife really wants to go tomorrow. She's not a part of our department, but since our families were invited as well as ourselves, she's a part of this gathering. She's just as frustrated about the state of our company and how it affects her job as I am, perhaps even more so. Therefore, her insistence that we should go to this gathering baffles me. Her rationale for going tomorrow is that we never get invited anywhere and we don't have many friends that we hang out with. I can't believe she doesn't understand this very simple fact: THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT OUR FRIENDS. They're COWORKERS. We may get along with them, but it's because we more or less have to, not because they're friends of ours. More to the point, I'm not really sure if I want them to be my friends. I have trust issues with people, and when I open my heart and soul to someone and accept them as a friend, even the smallest betrayal cuts me like a katana. So, I don't want to be all buddy/buddy with them one day and then have them throwing me under the bus for something the next. It would crush me, and I'd resent them to the point of hatred.
I think part of the reason my manager is hosting this event is because she wants to boost morale and help us get along better so we'll work better as a team. It's a laudable goal; that much is true. I also think she wants us to see her as more of a friendly face, someone we can feel comfortable approaching. That's fine too, but she's my manager, NOT my friend, for the very same reason my coworkers are also not my friends. I don't want her to be my friend. Yes, I want to be able to feel comfortable talking to her about my job, and maybe be able to exchange an anecdote and a good-natured laugh now and then, but I don't want her to be my friend. If a friend pisses you off, you can tell them to go fuck themselves, walk away angrily, but then make up with them later and all is well. You can't do that if you're friends with your boss. If they reprimand you for something and you get pissed, you have to suck it up and take it, and that breeds distrust and resentment that never really goes away. You know they have to be your boss first and foremost, which means disciplinary actions or criticism when necessary, and you can't fault them for that because that's their job, but you still feel betrayed deep down because, as a friend, they're supposed to understand and accept you without hesitation.
More later...
Honestly, the more accurate point of view on this is that I don't dislike the *job*. Rather, I dislike the company I work for.
I'm not going to go into specifics, for obvious reasons. It's not like I'd necessarily be safe from reprisal if someone at my office read this, but I just don't feel the need to name names or point fingers. But I will say in all honesty that my relationship with the department I work in has turned from one of joviality and cooperation to one of suspicion and resentment....mainly my suspicions and resentment toward them.
Sadly, my reasons for disliking the company I work for are plentiful, but for this entry, I'm going to focus on my coworkers.
I get along with the people I work with. That is to say, I have no open rivalries with anyone and they have none with me. We can have casual conversations, joke and laugh, etc. But with the exception of one or two people, we're not friends. We don't all hang out after hours, I don't meet up with any of them on the evenings or weekends for any reason, and I certainly don't let them in on my personal life beyond whatever is relevant to our workplace discussions.
One of my manager's goals is to make us more of a team, so once a month, she has us meet after hours to talk about things going on in our department and to help us get to know one another by way of group activities. It's total "how to improve departmental performance" textbook nonsense, but I have to admit, when I'm participating, it can be entertaining. However, I'm not a social butterfly by any means. It takes me a while to warm up to people and engage them without feeling uncomfortable. So when we participate in these activities, I feel very ill at ease. I would much rather be left alone to do what I was hired to do and benefit the team THAT way. After all, if I work hard and do my job well, doesn't that benefit the team as a whole? Why do we need this forced camaraderie?
Speaking more to that point, tomorrow my manager is having a cookout at her house and has invited all of us. It's a nice gesture, one that most managers would never consider because it involves opening up their personal space to their employees. But I couldn't be less enthusiastic or comfortable about the whole thing. First of all, there will be kids there; namely my manager's, and at least one other employee's. I don't hate children, but they make me very uncomfortable. They're noisy, rambunctious, unknowingly (most of the time) rude...they multiply my social awkwardness by a factor of 1000. Second of all, when I'm not at work, I do everything I can to block out my work mindset. I don't think about it if at all possible and I don't meet up with or talk to anyone from the office. I especially savor those times away when my job gets very stressful or when I'm on call during the week, which extends my work responsibilities after my in-office hours. So, to go to my manager's house and socialize with my coworkers couldn't possibly look or sound less appealing to me. It doesn't matter what we're all there together to do, it's still me hanging out with my coworkers when all I want to do is be away from them until the next time I have to be in the office.
My wife really wants to go tomorrow. She's not a part of our department, but since our families were invited as well as ourselves, she's a part of this gathering. She's just as frustrated about the state of our company and how it affects her job as I am, perhaps even more so. Therefore, her insistence that we should go to this gathering baffles me. Her rationale for going tomorrow is that we never get invited anywhere and we don't have many friends that we hang out with. I can't believe she doesn't understand this very simple fact: THESE PEOPLE ARE NOT OUR FRIENDS. They're COWORKERS. We may get along with them, but it's because we more or less have to, not because they're friends of ours. More to the point, I'm not really sure if I want them to be my friends. I have trust issues with people, and when I open my heart and soul to someone and accept them as a friend, even the smallest betrayal cuts me like a katana. So, I don't want to be all buddy/buddy with them one day and then have them throwing me under the bus for something the next. It would crush me, and I'd resent them to the point of hatred.
I think part of the reason my manager is hosting this event is because she wants to boost morale and help us get along better so we'll work better as a team. It's a laudable goal; that much is true. I also think she wants us to see her as more of a friendly face, someone we can feel comfortable approaching. That's fine too, but she's my manager, NOT my friend, for the very same reason my coworkers are also not my friends. I don't want her to be my friend. Yes, I want to be able to feel comfortable talking to her about my job, and maybe be able to exchange an anecdote and a good-natured laugh now and then, but I don't want her to be my friend. If a friend pisses you off, you can tell them to go fuck themselves, walk away angrily, but then make up with them later and all is well. You can't do that if you're friends with your boss. If they reprimand you for something and you get pissed, you have to suck it up and take it, and that breeds distrust and resentment that never really goes away. You know they have to be your boss first and foremost, which means disciplinary actions or criticism when necessary, and you can't fault them for that because that's their job, but you still feel betrayed deep down because, as a friend, they're supposed to understand and accept you without hesitation.
More later...
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Still here...more or less.
I've had this blog for a long time, and the road it's built on was paved with good intentions. My intent was to speak of my love for Japan, namely its rich culture, fascinating history, and odd, quirky charms. I also intended to detail my efforts to travel there one day, something I claimed was my one big "dream", my one-item bucket list.
But, as with many things in life (not just mine), time slips away from you, priorities change, and reality rears its ugly, relentlessly logical head. The "dream" of Japan still exists for me, and always will...but I've come to realize it will most likely be only that - a dream, not a reality. The most I can hope for is maybe visiting the Japan-centric area of San Francisco, which I'm told is rather lovely and still rich in Japanese culture while still nestled within a major American city. Until then, there are my occasional trips to Mitsuwa Marketplace, my many books about Japan, and a paper-thin line of hope that will forever exist despite the odds.
Anyway...
Lately I've felt an overwhelming need for a place to upload my brain. I've come home every day from work filled with a maelstrom of thoughts that I can't off-load. I'd do it on my Facebook account, but more and more I find that I have to censor myself there. My wife, my friends and relatives, people who've known me for a long time are there...who better to share your thoughts with, right? Well, not so much. When I'm feeling melancholy, frustrated, or just plain pissed about something, I can't rage about it on Facebook without having people do one of the following:
1. worry about me more than they actually need to
2. Comment on how much worse they've got it than me (like it's some kind of freakin' competition!)
3. utterly ignore me
Those elements don't make for a comfortable forum to air one's grievances about life in general. It's not that this blog will be much better a place. Odds are almost no one will even read it and if they do, they won't respond to any of it. But, that's not really the point. I don't really care if another living soul reads any of what I have to say here; I just want a place to speak my mind without having someone bitch at me for it. I'm not seeking counsel; I'm not looking for solutions to my problems, because the things I'll rage about here will most likely have no attainable solutions. If anyone reading this WANTS to offer their thoughts, they're more than welcome to, but they will be doing so with the knowledge that I'm not soliciting for them.
My one objection is that I didn't create this blog for that purpose. This was my place to gush lovingly about the beautiful, fascinating, and exciting country that I've longed to visit ever since I was a little boy. However, with the hope of getting to Japan fading ever further into the distance, it's time to branch out and use the space rather than let it sit in the World Wide Wasteland.
So, watch this space...or don't. ;-) More is coming.
But, as with many things in life (not just mine), time slips away from you, priorities change, and reality rears its ugly, relentlessly logical head. The "dream" of Japan still exists for me, and always will...but I've come to realize it will most likely be only that - a dream, not a reality. The most I can hope for is maybe visiting the Japan-centric area of San Francisco, which I'm told is rather lovely and still rich in Japanese culture while still nestled within a major American city. Until then, there are my occasional trips to Mitsuwa Marketplace, my many books about Japan, and a paper-thin line of hope that will forever exist despite the odds.
Anyway...
Lately I've felt an overwhelming need for a place to upload my brain. I've come home every day from work filled with a maelstrom of thoughts that I can't off-load. I'd do it on my Facebook account, but more and more I find that I have to censor myself there. My wife, my friends and relatives, people who've known me for a long time are there...who better to share your thoughts with, right? Well, not so much. When I'm feeling melancholy, frustrated, or just plain pissed about something, I can't rage about it on Facebook without having people do one of the following:
1. worry about me more than they actually need to
2. Comment on how much worse they've got it than me (like it's some kind of freakin' competition!)
3. utterly ignore me
Those elements don't make for a comfortable forum to air one's grievances about life in general. It's not that this blog will be much better a place. Odds are almost no one will even read it and if they do, they won't respond to any of it. But, that's not really the point. I don't really care if another living soul reads any of what I have to say here; I just want a place to speak my mind without having someone bitch at me for it. I'm not seeking counsel; I'm not looking for solutions to my problems, because the things I'll rage about here will most likely have no attainable solutions. If anyone reading this WANTS to offer their thoughts, they're more than welcome to, but they will be doing so with the knowledge that I'm not soliciting for them.
My one objection is that I didn't create this blog for that purpose. This was my place to gush lovingly about the beautiful, fascinating, and exciting country that I've longed to visit ever since I was a little boy. However, with the hope of getting to Japan fading ever further into the distance, it's time to branch out and use the space rather than let it sit in the World Wide Wasteland.
So, watch this space...or don't. ;-) More is coming.
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